hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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