I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
