How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
