So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
