walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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