Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
