So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize