Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
