i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Randomize
