i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize