her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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