Whod you bang
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
