I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
