Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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