how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
