It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
