bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
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