Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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