I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
