O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Too much gin, very little bucket
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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