playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
