I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
