After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
