we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
