so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
