What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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