Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
