Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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