I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize