i'm signing you up for texting rehab
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
