What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
