3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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