Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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