If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
