after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
this will be a night to untag.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
