I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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