You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
