i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
