PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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