I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
