South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
