dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
