I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
North Korea, Best Korea!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
