I wish I only lived at night.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
