HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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