why didn't you poke me back
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
