Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
