I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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