I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
