im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
