After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
is it fun? or sober?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
